JASON COLLINS' BIG ANNOUNCEMENT, AMANDA BYNES' SEXY PICS: 10 FUNNIEST POP CULTURE TWEETS OF THE WEEK

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It's been quite a shocking week. NBA star Jason Collins came out as gay, becoming the first male athlete currently active in a team sport to do so. Then Amanda Bynes decided to continue her tweeting spree, revealing another video of herself in the bathroom and pictures of herself in a sexy bra. And, on a sadder note, Chris Kelly of the rap duo Kriss Kross passed away at the age of 34. Serious material to be sure, but still ripe for a bit of friendly jesting. 

Check out the jokes Twitter comedians shared about this week's pop cultural events.

10 Funnies Pop Culture Tweets of the Week:

1. Gerry Duggan: "First Sir @IanMcKellen, and now @JasonCollins34 — looks like my favorite wizards are gay."

2. John Oliver: "Don't worry, it'll still be everything you love about the Daily Show - just without the thing you love the most about it."

3. Aziz Ansari: "'HEY DON'T WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT THE NBA ON TWITTER TODAY. PLEASE!!!' - PR teams to their homophobic clients"

4. Michael Ian Black: "At my house, Mondays are "feel slightly disappointed in the new episode of 'Mad Men' night."

5. Lauren Ashley Bishop: "hello 911 yes i need amanda bynes' parents"

6. Morgan Murphy: "I'm Jewish but I just krossed myself. I rapped & wore my clothes backwards when I was 10 and it scared my mom. #RIP"

7. Mike Birbiglia: "Chris Kelly made a lot of people jump. You can't say that for many people. #RIPMacDaddy"

8. Patton Oswalt: "IRON MAN 3 just blew my ass apart and hillbilly-fucked it full of awesome.*. (*usable poster quote)"

9. Neal Brennan: "Kobe's so competitive, he's trying to figure out a way to be gayer than Jason Collins right now."

10. Mary Charlene: "by tomorrow night Amanda Bynes will be completely naked in all her selfies"

LINDSAY LOHAN ARREST QUIZ: GUESS WHICH YEAR THESE HEADLINES WERE WRITTEN

What are we going to do about Lindsay Lohan? What more can we do about Lindsay Lohan? It seems like just yesterday our freckled mess got herself her first cute little DUI and was taken to jail for a cute little mugshot. Everyone was so stunned that the precious child star was entering into the dark world of prescription drugs and trashy blonde hair dye from the box that headlines were screaming with disappointment and shock.

Sadly, this nearly-10-year hell ride shows no sign of slowing down and now we're tired. We're just about done. In fact, we have pretty much run out of headlines to portray just how big a s**tshow our chameleon-haired wreck is that we literally keep repeating ourselves. It's becoming harder and harder to determine when Lohan's first DUI began and her most recent rehab stint ended. But boy is it fun to try. See if you can guess which year these echoed headlines were written.

1. Lindsay Lohan Not in Rehab, Rehires Longtime Lawyer Shawn Holley, Reports Say
A) 2005
B) 2013
C) 2007

2. Lindsay Lohan: A History Of Rehab
A) 2009
B) 2013
C) 2010

3. Lindsay Lohan Leaves Rehab Facility, Which (Spoiler) Isn't Licensed to do Rehab
A) 2013
B) 2009
C) Future Headline

4. Lindsay Lohan Scores Rehab Victory — Maybe
A) 2010
B) 2006
C) 2013

5. Lohan Banned From Hotel For $46,000 Unpaid Bill
A) 2012
B) 2010
C) 2009

6. Lindsay Lohan Arrested on Suspicion of DUI, Cocaine Possession After Car Chase
A) 2007
B) 2013
C) Future Headline

7. Lindsay Lohan Released from L.A. Hospital
A) 2004
B) 2012
C) 2008

8. Lindsay Lohan Sent Back to Rehab, Not Jail
A) 2012
B) 2013
C) 2010

9. Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Drugs
A) 2005
B) 2007
C) 2000

10. Strung Out Lindsay Lohan Drinks in Bed, Leaves Mess Behind
A) 2013
B) 2006
C) 2012

11. Lindsay Lohan Arrested While in Rehab, on Drugs
A) 2013
B) 2006
C) Future Headline

12. Lindsay Lohan Car Chase Case Settled, Dismissed
A) 2007
B) 2013
C) 2011

13. Lindsay Lohan: Portrait of the Party Girl as a Young Artist
A) 2006
B) 2009
C) 2013

14. Lindsay Lohan Arrested Again For DUI; Reportedly Checks Back Into Rehab
A) 2009
B) 2007
C) 2010

15. Lindsay Lohan Enters Rehab Center After False Start
A) 2013
B) 2009
C) 2007

16. Lindsay Lohan: A Timeline of All Her Arrests (and Boy, There Are a Lot of 'Em)
A) 2012
B) 2006
C) 2010

17. Lindsay Lohan Blasted for 'Heavy Partying'
A) 2013
B) 2010
C) 2006

18. Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI – Again
A) 2013
B) 2007
C) 2010

19. The Evolution of Lindsay Lohan
A) 2001
B) 2004
C) 2013

20. Lohan Arrested on DUI Charge After Crash
A) 2006
B) 2013
C) 2007

Answers

1. B; Fox News
2. C; MTV
3. A; CNN
4. C; TMZ
5. A; Huffington Post
6. A; Fox News
7. B; Hollywood.com
8. C; ABC News
9. B; ABC News
10. B; The Hollywood Gossip
11. C; HA
12. C; LA Times Blog
13. A; NY Times
14. B; MTV
15. A; Reuters
16. A; E! Online
17. C; People
18. B; People
19. B; USA Today
20. C; NBC, Today

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY MARRIES KLAXONS KEYBOARDIST JAMES RIGHTON

Alo Ceballos/FilmMagic

Ten years after we watched her walk down the aisle in Love, Actually,Keira Knightley has tied the knot in real life. The Anna Karenina actresshas married her beau of two years, Klaxons keyboard player James Righton, according to People. 

The couple wed in a small town outside of Marseilles Saturday, where onlookers watched Knightley marry Righton in an unconventional, short tulle wedding dress, complete with a Chanel jacket. According to People, 50 to 100 guests were invited to the nuptials. "It was not a long service," one source tells the publication. "The ceremony occured just before noon and lasted only about 30 minutes. Keira looked beautiful."

The couple, who were introduced to one another through mutual friend Alexa Chung, wed one year after they got engaged in May 2012. 

MILEY CYRUS TOPS 'MAXIM' HOT 100 LIST... OR SO SHE TELLS HER FANS

Jason Merritt/WireImage

Miley Cyrus' fans weren't surprised when she told them she was hot on Twitter. (Have you seen her V magazine cover?) But theywere surprised when she told them she was named No. 1 on Maxim's Hot 100 list... before the men's magazine got a chance to do so themselves.

On Friday night, the former Hannah Montana star tweeted a photo of herself reclining on the beach in a revealing swimsuit and told followers, "Didn't know this was coming out! I'm so happy to be #1 on Maxims HOT 100! #myfanskickass #dreamsdocometrue."

Sure, you could scoff at Cyrus' claim that the honor is a "dream come true," and the fact that the singer/actress leaked the news, but there's no denying she deserves the title — the former child star has proven she's all grown up in a series of photo shoots this year. Plus, it's nice to see Maxim — a publication that named model Bar Rafaeli as the world's hottest in 2012 — make an unconventional choice amongst its peers. After all, Mila Kunis — who was named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive this year before again topping FHM's list this week — can't possibly win every time. 

UNHAPPY HOUR: KANYE WEST'S TWITTER NONSENSE, REESE WITHERSPOON'S VIDEO & MORE POP CULTURE DISAPPOINTMENTS

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of April 29 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.

Sip a Little White Wine Sangria

Because Kanye West is at again. He took to Twitter with a two simple words and now we're all forced to lose our minds speculating. 

Lars von Trier's new movie poster is just two parentheses. But really, it's forcing us to be the perverts to fill in the female anatomy blank.

Someone needs to buy Al Pacino a calendar. He just dropped out of a movie two months before its release.

It turns out, celebrities and horse owners have a lot in common. Apparently, they employ the same thought process when naming their babies and their horses.

Upgrade Your Buzz With a Margarita

Harrison Ford doesn't seem to be too jazzed about his new movie. This video doesn't bode well for Ender's Game, does it?

Jaden Smith is supporting Justin Bieber's harem pants movement. At the cost of looking like he has baby legs. 

Everyone at The Office says Steve Carell isn't coming back. Butwe refuse to believe Michael Scott would miss this finale.

What the hell, Showtime? This Dexter poster is going to give us nightmares.

Go Ahead, Drink Some Straight Tequila

Lindsay Lohan has been arrested so many times, we can't keep track. No really, we tried and it's near impossible.

Amanda Bynes finally gave a reason for her madness. She wants to look like a famous stripper. Great, back to square one.

This whole Reese Witherspoon thing keeps getting worse. Now there's a second video of Jim Tosh scolding Witherspoon. Will it never end?

LINDSAY LOHAN TELLS PIERS MORGAN SHE LOVES ECSTASY, IS NOT BISEXUAL

Getty Images

Just weeks before entering court-ordered rehab — the actress is currently a patient at the Betty Ford Center — Lindsay Lohan sat down with Piers Morgan for a candid interview about her transformation from beloved child star to tragicially wasted has-been. And though we thought the revealing New York Times piece about her bizarre behavior on the set of The Canyons was as close as we would get to the troubled 26-year-old actress, Morgan managed to convince Lohan to discuss her drug history and her sexual history. Read below for the eight craziest quotes from the interview and try not to shed a tear remembering how much you loved The Parent Trap.

On Her First Drink: "I got really sick and Mum made me sleep with vomit still on me so I’d understand how it felt. I didn’t drink again throughout high school. I was too scared!"

On How Often She Uses Cocaine: "Everyone thinks I’ve done it so many times. But I’ve only done it maybe four or five times in my life ... I took it four times in a period from about the age of 20 to 23, and I got caught twice."

On Her Drug of Choice: "Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked that better than the others (giggles). I didn’t drink on it, so I was just chilling. It’s something that a lot of people experience when they’re in college. I just should have known that being in the public eye, someone was bound to say something or try to make some money off it."

On Her Drinking Habits: "I’ve never been a huge drinker. I’ve never woken up in the morning and had a drink."

But, On Second Thought...: "But when I was younger I was definitely going out too much and I was drinking too much."

On Rehab: "I’ve been court-ordered to do it six times. I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab it was like a joke, like killing time."

On Whether or Not She's Bisexual: "Not really. I like being in a relationship with a guy. But there’s something just different about it with a woman. When I was with Samantha (Ronson), I didn’t want to leave, because I didn’t want to be alone. It was very toxic. And her family controlled anything she did ... I know I’m straight. I have made out with girls before, and I had a relationship with a girl. But I think I needed to experience that and I think I was looking for something different."

Still, the craziest moment of all happened post-interview, when Lohan and Morgan filmed a video that proved their interview and the fact that perhaps Lohan takes her demons a bit too lightly:

ORB WINS THE 2013 KENTUCKY DERBY

Charles Bertram/Getty Images

The most exciting two minutes in sports also happens to be a great excuse to spend 24 hours submitting to your demons. After all, Kentucky Derby day is the only day that deems gambling, binge drinking Mint Juleps, and wearing a hat outside your grandmother's closet socially acceptable.

Still, the main attraction is, of course, the horses and dark horses that face off against one another in a two-minute, one-and-a-quarter-mile dash that reminds you of how you panted your way through a 12-minute mile in high school. And the 139th Kentucky Derby proved to be just as exciting as the last 138 — hats off to Orb, who won the race despite Palace Malice's unexpected early lead. (Sorry, Internet — Charming Kitten didn't manage to eke in a win.)

Orb, who won the race with jockey Joel Rosario, was an early favorite in the Kentucky Derby. The horse, who is owned by Hall of Fame trainer Shug McGaughey, was hot off the heels of a Florida Derby victory when he won the Kentucky Derby. 

Another Julep to celebrate?

CHRIS BROWN TALKS RIHANNA RELATIONSHIP: I 'JUST GOT TO MOVE FORWARD'

evin Mazur/WireImage

For months now, the rumors have been flying that Chris Brown andRihanna are no longer an item. And during a recent interview with Australia's 2Day radio station, Brown opened up about the couple's controversial relationship.

Brown was talking to the hosts of 2Day's The Kyle and Jackie Show, discussing his 24th birthday party plans when he revealed that he and Rihanna wouldn't be celebrating his birthday together. "I've actually got three birthday parties scheduled. I got one in L.A., one in Vegas, and one in New York, so we can going to have fun, and I'm just trying to have, you know, the best time with my fans and all the people in the club," he said. "I want to see as many girls as possible."

Rihanna wasn't included in his birthday plans. "I'm [going to] do it solo," Brown said. "I mean, at the end of the day, shawty doing her own thing. She on the road. It's always going to be love. But, I'm a grown man, just got to move forward."

"I'm always going love that person," Brown added. "[But], at the end of the day, she's a young girl. I can't be focused on wife-ing someone that young. I need to be the best Chris Brown I can be."