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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

THE 'FAIR WEDDING' IS OVER: DAVID TUTERA AND HIS HUSBAND OF 10 YEARS SPLIT


David Tutera
Chelsea Lauren/WireImage

David Tutera may be an expert when it comes to planning a wedding, but when it comes to making a union last, he's not as confident. After 10 years together, Tutera has filed paperwork to dissolve his domestic partnership with Ryan JuricaTMZ reports. 
This is reportedly not a simple or amicable split. Tutera and Jurica have a surrogate mother that is due to deliver their twins this July — and now the men are reportedly fighting over who will get custody of the children. Tutera is reportedly seeking full legal and physical custody of the twins.
According to TMZ, Tutera also doesn't want to pay Jurica spousal support. He instead wants Jurica to front all the money for all of his legal fees for their dissolution proceedings.
The fact that Tutera makes his living as a celebrity wedding planner and even has a TV show — My Fair Wedding — dedicated to the celebration of marriage makes this news all the more shocking.

Monday, May 13, 2013

CHRIS BROWN WHINES 'I CAN'T WIN' IN NEW SONG, PRETENDS IT'S NOT ABOUT RIHANNA


Chris Brown
Ivan Nikolov/WENN

Does Chris Brown finally get it? Has he gone from a myopic fool hell-bent on making the world see things through his eyes to a self-aware artist, painfully cognizant of the way much of the public sees him? Is he finally going to join the conversation instead of rebel against it? Let's be real. Of course not. The new song he released, aptly titled "I Can't Win," is about a journey of emotional struggle. He's not saying it's hisemotional struggle, but we kind of think it is. 
I hate to admit it, but "I Can't Win" is a bit of a jam. And the bits about this phantom girl hating him because "the only thing you love is the bottle" can only be questionably linked to his relationship withRihanna. But when he gets to the chorus, the song gets a little self-serving. "She ain't bluffing, she gon' do it/ I think it's time for me to face the music" followed by "Girl, if you love me, better prove it/I can't win/I can't win." Basically, this girl is a mess (probably an alcoholic) and it's her fault their relationship isn't working. Brown's character is just the poor schmuck who endlessly loves her to no avail.
Now, it's not a one-for-one transferral for his real situation with Rihanna, but based on Brown's behavior in the past and his mission to convince us that he's better now, is it beyond the realm of possibility that he'd feel he can't win with us, the celeb-news-obsessed-public? Wouldn't he seek a cathartic outlet to declare to the universe that, for fault completely not his own (that part's a bit of a fantasy), he's simply doomed? 
Let's add to that the way in which he presented the song, which won't be on his upcoming album. Brown simply tweeted the link to the Vimeo video stating "Some s**t I felt like writing that's not on the album." So, it's not for the album, but the emotions in it are so pressing that he just had to put them into music and share it with the world somehow? The song may not be specifically about his relationship with Rihanna, but I'll be damned if we're to believe his real emotions as a result of that past love aren't in play on this track. 
Listen for yourself and be the judge:

BILLBOARD BEATS: RIHANNA MAY 'STAY' IN THE TOP 10 FOR A WHILE LONGER


Rihanna
Kevin Mazur/WireImage

"No. 1" should be Rihanna's middle name. The Barbadian pop princess is well on the way to having another No. 1 hit with her single "Stay" featuring Mikky Ekko. The song has been charting on Billboard.com's Hot 100 for 12 weeks and it's making some major moves. Last week, the song was at No. 6, but this week it jumps up to No. 3.
Should P!nk feel threatened? Her song with Nate Ruess, "Just Give Me A Reason," has been holding onto the No.1 spot for a few weeks now — but it seems like Rihanna is hot on her heels. Rihanna has to get byMacklemore and Ryan Lewis' song "Can't Hold Us," though, before she can get on top. "Can't Hold Us" has been in the No. 2 spot for a few weeks now, too, so it might be hard for Rihanna to pass them — especially looking at the duo's past success with "Thrift Shop."
Only time will tell if Rihanna has another hit on her hands. In the meantime, check out which other songs made it to the top 10 this week.
The Top 10 Songs on Billboard.com's Hot 100 Chart:
1. "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk, Featuring Nate RuessPeak Position: 1
Last Week's Position: 1
Weeks on Chart: 11
2. "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Featuring Ray Dalton
Peak Position: 2
Last Week's Position: 2
Weeks on Chart: 12
3. "Stay" by Rihanna, Featuring Mikky Ekko
Peak Position: 3
Last Week's Position: 6
Weeks on Chart: 12
4. "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Featuring Wanz
Peak Position: 1
Last Week's Position: 3
Weeks on Chart: 30
5. "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake
Peak Position: 5
Last Week's Position: 7
Weeks on Chart: 11
6. "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars
Peak Position: 1
Last Week's Position: 4
Weeks on Chart: 19
7. "Suit & Tie" by Justin Timberlake
Peak Position: 3
Last Week's Position: 8
Weeks on Chart: 16
8. "Feel This Moment" by Pitbull, Featuring Christina Aguilera
Peak Position: 8
Last Week's Position: 9
Weeks on Chart: 14
9. "I Love It" by Icona Pop, Featuring Charli XCX
Peak Position: 9
Last Week's Position: 13
Weeks on Chart: 13
10. "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons
Peak Position: 7
Last Week's Position: 12
Weeks on Chart: 35

ODD FUTURE'S OFFENSIVE MOUNTAIN DEW COMMERCIAL IS A PROBLEM FOR 3 REASONS


Mountain Dew commercial, Odd Future
Mountain Dew

First of all, I didn't know Mountain Dew was still around. Wasn't particularly certain about Odd Future, either. But both entities have come soaring back to the public conscious at lightning speed, and for all the wrong reasons. Long criticized for a hypocrisy surrounding their anti-coporate brand, the hip-hop group Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All has teamed with the PepsiCo subsidiary for a new three-part soda commercial (crafted by Odd Future's own Tyler, the Creator), one that will spark condemnation not only for the obvious "sell out factor" (you can't have your cake and spout propaganda against the materialistic evils of the cake industry, too), but for three other highly specific, highly offensive reasons.
Let's start here, where the first problem is introduced. This commercial — an ad aiming to perpetuate the bounties of a refreshing soft drink — is a joke about physical abuse. Here, we see a goat raining blows upon a well-meaning waitress after becoming instantly addicted to her bequeathment of Mountain Dew. The woman's shrieks of pain and horror are not particularly over the top or sensationalized (not that this would forgive the material), but delivered straight, suggesting that comedy is inherent, or excusable, in a woman getting beaten up by a violent maniac.
The most innocuous of the chapters sees the goat fleeing from the scene of the crime, hopped up on Mountain Dew and packing a ton of the stuff in his trunk, when he gets pulled over by a police officer. There isn't really anything particularly horrendous about this one — yes, you can find fault with the levity afforded to drug abuse and intoxicated driving, but in comparison to the rest of the transgressions committed by this travesty, this doesn't seem all too severe. Moving on...
The motherload. By far, the most viciously disgraceful faction of the ad, and for three independent reasons:
1) Again, this installment is a minute-long joke about physical abuse. Here, we see the battered waitress, now called upon to pick the criminal who attacked her earlier out of a line-up.
Covered in scars, bruises, and casts, the actress is made to look like a helpless victim, succumbing to sobs as she folds into a pit of fear. Tugging her into the catastrophic spiral are voiceover threats from the goat — really nasty one-liners like, "Keep your mouth shut," and the champ of the lot, "I'm gonna get out of here, and I'm gonna do you up," (it is alarming that a major corporation would agree to having the very name of its product associated with a violent threat).
And when the woman, stricken with grief and horror over the ordeal, runs off the scene screaming, what follows isn't an acknowledgement of the morbidity in this episode, but a punchline. At her expense. Via the police officer whose very job it is to protect her.
As such, it appears that Mountain Dew is not only okay with using physical abuse to bolster a joke, it seems to think that physical abuse itself is a joke.
2) It almost feels too obvious to tread into the racial offenses committed by the commercial, but here goes: racist. Racist, racist, racist. Not accidental racist or reverse racist or Harry Crane racist or any of those idiotic qualifiers invented by people who consider progressive thinking to be the downfall of man, but racist.
The amoral, substance-addicted, hauntingly violent goat (whose unmistakably accented dialogue consists of phrases like "Betta not snitch on a playa!") joins a line-up consisting entirely of, as Dr. Boyce Watkins of Your Black World states in his criticism of the ad, "Not just regular black people, but the kinds of ratchety negroes you might find in the middle of any hip-hop minstrel show." It doesn't help matters that one of the men in the line-up is named "Beyonte."
Of course, an issue presents itself in the very declaration of the goat character as "racist," or that there exists any necessary link between the race of the other men and their appearance in the lineup. These claims are likely to garner accusations of racism themselves — isn't it just as judgmental to assume that these men are looked at specifically as black criminals? That the terminology "snitch on a playa" has an association with any specific race?
And to those who do find fault with these things, I agree. It is a problem, and a testament to cultural idiocy, that these associations exist and are fluidly propagated. But what's worse: the commercial knew exactly what it was doing in the use of these elements. It wanted to paint this goat, and its fellow line-up constituents, in a certain light that is associated, wrongly and harmfully, with race. And it succeeded. Therein lies its crime.
3) Finally, the third "issue" with the commercial. Now, many a great comedian has gotten away with, and been celebrated for, offensive humor. In these instances, such jokes are done tastefully. They have merit. They are used to prove a valuable point. And, of course, they're funny. This commercial is not.
Setting aside all of the detrimental points in its message, the final chapter of this commercial alone is a meandering, redundant, disjointed disgrace to the mathematics of humor. It disregards everything that goes into building a piece of comedy: It's quick cuts are more reminiscent of a horror movie (which, hell, this commercial should be) than of anything comic. It's mental back and forth between the woman and her assailant is overcooked and negligent of the all-powerful Rule of Threes, with seven lines of dialogue afforded to each... seven long, drawn-out, arhythmic, meaningless lines of dialogue that do not build upon one another in the slightest. When the punchline does hit, following a cut of the woman's extensive wailing and hobbling, the only achievement is relief. The minute-long travesty is over.
And while PepsiCo has pulled, and apologized for, the commercial, as reported by Adweek, we have to wonder what exactly was going through the advertising team's mind in the first place when accepting Tyler, the Creator's final product. How did they think physical abuse was something to joke about? How did they think racism was excusable? How did they think this was, in any way, funny? We don't get it.

ODD FUTURE'S OFFENSIVE MOUNTAIN DEW COMMERCIAL IS A PROBLEM FOR 3 REASONS


Mountain Dew commercial, Odd Future
Mountain Dew

First of all, I didn't know Mountain Dew was still around. Wasn't particularly certain about Odd Future, either. But both entities have come soaring back to the public conscious at lightning speed, and for all the wrong reasons. Long criticized for a hypocrisy surrounding their anti-coporate brand, the hip-hop group Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All has teamed with the PepsiCo subsidiary for a new three-part soda commercial (crafted by Odd Future's own Tyler, the Creator), one that will spark condemnation not only for the obvious "sell out factor" (you can't have your cake and spout propaganda against the materialistic evils of the cake industry, too), but for three other highly specific, highly offensive reasons.
Let's start here, where the first problem is introduced. This commercial — an ad aiming to perpetuate the bounties of a refreshing soft drink — is a joke about physical abuse. Here, we see a goat raining blows upon a well-meaning waitress after becoming instantly addicted to her bequeathment of Mountain Dew. The woman's shrieks of pain and horror are not particularly over the top or sensationalized (not that this would forgive the material), but delivered straight, suggesting that comedy is inherent, or excusable, in a woman getting beaten up by a violent maniac.
The most innocuous of the chapters sees the goat fleeing from the scene of the crime, hopped up on Mountain Dew and packing a ton of the stuff in his trunk, when he gets pulled over by a police officer. There isn't really anything particularly horrendous about this one — yes, you can find fault with the levity afforded to drug abuse and intoxicated driving, but in comparison to the rest of the transgressions committed by this travesty, this doesn't seem all too severe. Moving on...
The motherload. By far, the most viciously disgraceful faction of the ad, and for three independent reasons:
1) Again, this installment is a minute-long joke about physical abuse. Here, we see the battered waitress, now called upon to pick the criminal who attacked her earlier out of a line-up.
Covered in scars, bruises, and casts, the actress is made to look like a helpless victim, succumbing to sobs as she folds into a pit of fear. Tugging her into the catastrophic spiral are voiceover threats from the goat — really nasty one-liners like, "Keep your mouth shut," and the champ of the lot, "I'm gonna get out of here, and I'm gonna do you up," (it is alarming that a major corporation would agree to having the very name of its product associated with a violent threat).
And when the woman, stricken with grief and horror over the ordeal, runs off the scene screaming, what follows isn't an acknowledgement of the morbidity in this episode, but a punchline. At her expense. Via the police officer whose very job it is to protect her.
As such, it appears that Mountain Dew is not only okay with using physical abuse to bolster a joke, it seems to think that physical abuse itself is a joke.
2) It almost feels too obvious to tread into the racial offenses committed by the commercial, but here goes: racist. Racist, racist, racist. Not accidental racist or reverse racist or Harry Crane racist or any of those idiotic qualifiers invented by people who consider progressive thinking to be the downfall of man, but racist.
The amoral, substance-addicted, hauntingly violent goat (whose unmistakably accented dialogue consists of phrases like "Betta not snitch on a playa!") joins a line-up consisting entirely of, as Dr. Boyce Watkins of Your Black World states in his criticism of the ad, "Not just regular black people, but the kinds of ratchety negroes you might find in the middle of any hip-hop minstrel show." It doesn't help matters that one of the men in the line-up is named "Beyonte."
Of course, an issue presents itself in the very declaration of the goat character as "racist," or that there exists any necessary link between the race of the other men and their appearance in the lineup. These claims are likely to garner accusations of racism themselves — isn't it just as judgmental to assume that these men are looked at specifically as black criminals? That the terminology "snitch on a playa" has an association with any specific race?
And to those who do find fault with these things, I agree. It is a problem, and a testament to cultural idiocy, that these associations exist and are fluidly propagated. But what's worse: the commercial knew exactly what it was doing in the use of these elements. It wanted to paint this goat, and its fellow line-up constituents, in a certain light that is associated, wrongly and harmfully, with race. And it succeeded. Therein lies its crime.
3) Finally, the third "issue" with the commercial. Now, many a great comedian has gotten away with, and been celebrated for, offensive humor. In these instances, such jokes are done tastefully. They have merit. They are used to prove a valuable point. And, of course, they're funny. This commercial is not.
Setting aside all of the detrimental points in its message, the final chapter of this commercial alone is a meandering, redundant, disjointed disgrace to the mathematics of humor. It disregards everything that goes into building a piece of comedy: It's quick cuts are more reminiscent of a horror movie (which, hell, this commercial should be) than of anything comic. It's mental back and forth between the woman and her assailant is overcooked and negligent of the all-powerful Rule of Threes, with seven lines of dialogue afforded to each... seven long, drawn-out, arhythmic, meaningless lines of dialogue that do not build upon one another in the slightest. When the punchline does hit, following a cut of the woman's extensive wailing and hobbling, the only achievement is relief. The minute-long travesty is over.
And while PepsiCo has pulled, and apologized for, the commercial, as reported by Adweek, we have to wonder what exactly was going through the advertising team's mind in the first place when accepting Tyler, the Creator's final product. How did they think physical abuse was something to joke about? How did they think racism was excusable? How did they think this was, in any way, funny? We don't get it.